Insanity.

Ok, so this is inspired by a song i heard recently. I wanted to try making a speech that depicted a man slowly going insane throughout his speech. Here goes.



Every morning i wake up and stumble sleepily to the bathroom. In the bathroom i proceed to remove my Boxer briefs and step into the shower where i clean myself thoroughly. After i step out of the shower, I brush my teeth and choose a perfect Q-tip to get the job done right. I then shave and then apply my deodorant to my underarms. I then take a small amount of wax and apply it to my hair and then style it according to my personal preference. Most of the time, it turns out to be a Faux Hawk. I then take the trek back to my room where i choose my wardrobe for the day ahead of me. One can never be sure of what will be required, but I make sure that i'm as well prepared as can be. I then choose the shoes that i am going to wear for that day and continue on my way to whatever destination i am required to be at. Every day is a constant struggle for me, i take small strides in my viewing of the world because overexposure just might kill my freewill. Which makes it very difficult to use the stairs. I take the elevator up to the fifth floor of the mall elevator and walk straight to my own little desk behind the customer service counter. Every day i repeat these same exact steps. These steps are essential to keep my sanity. I recall one morning when i forgot to clean my ears with a Q-tip. That morning was absolutely horrible. I was 7 minutes late for work and as a result got home about 14 hours late. Or was it 14 days? No, i'm right. It was minutes. Or wait. 7 days is a week? So that means 14 days would be 3 days too many for the chinese new year. But then again, the irish aren't too happy with the result. But as long as i tie my shoes everyday those potato eating bastards can't get me. Now where was I? Oh yes. Every morning i wake up and stumble drunkily to the bathroom where i take off all of your clothes and start to make love to you in the shower. I make sure the purity and cleanliness of the shower is tainted by our dirty act so that no one can ever feel safe again. After we do our bodily fluid exchange, I step outside and brush the ticks out of my hair so that they can stop their bickering. I then grab a cotton swab thing on a stick and i proceed to clean all of the germs off of my gums so that the aliens can't track me. I then apply the secret balm of understanding to my underarms so that no one can detect me as someone different. I put some glue into my hands and scream and throw it against the wall. Every morning is the same. Every morning is different. Every morning I grab a knife. And just don't know where to stick it.